Dear Henchman Vincent Crabbe,
I have received the following letters from High Inquisitor Dolores Umbridge and Chief Associate Henchmen Gregory Goyle recommending your dismissal as Head Assistant Henchman of the Inquisitorial Squad and Draco Malfoy's Gang. I have accepted their recommendation and you are hereby terminated and removed from office, effective immediately.
While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on more occasions than I can count, how awesome I am -- and also that time you tried to kill that total feminazi Hermione Granger -- I nevertheless concur with the judgement of the Inquisitorial Squad that you are not able to effectively hench on behalf of myself, The Death Eaters, The Ministry of Magic, and He Who Must Not Be Named.
It is essential that we find new henchmanship for the Inquisitorial Squad and the Malfoy Gang that restores pure-blood trust and confidence in our vital law enforcement mission.
I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
-- Draco Malfoy
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Slytherin Alumni Board of Trustees
"We'll teach just those whose ancestry's purest."
-- Salazar Slytherin